Fridays Focus: The Dream Giver; Border Bullies, Border Buddies, & Border Busters Danielle Rogers February 28, 2015 Advice, Life, Lifestyle, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized, Words of Wisdom On my journey to repair myself and tread the path towards my dream, the same friend that insisted I read The Secret suggested I read a book called The Dream Giver as well. This is the perfect book for anyone looking to identify their dream or pursue a dream that has been placed in their heart and requires a little encouragement. Along with pointing out things like identifying your dream, things that deter your dream, insights into your dream, and misconceptions about dreams; The Dream Giver introduces us to the concept of border bullies, border buddies, and border busters. Border bullies usually are found between you and your comfort zone actively or passively aggressively deterring you from your dream. Border bullies can be broken down into four categories: The Alarmist: “It’s not safe” The Traditionalist: “It’s not how we do it.” The Defeatist: “It’s not possible” The Antagonist: “I won’t let you” Border buddies are those that affirm and support you along the way. Lastly there’s the border buster. Border busters help you pursue your dreams. They do more than support, they recognize your God-given dream and choose to proactively help you pursue it. They are rare individuals that we should treasure no matter how long they may be in our lives. Usually they come into our lives for a short period of time but the lasting impressions they leave on our lives allow us to never forget them though. When journeying through life it’s essential to be able to identify these types of people. Border bullies have no place in your life no matter the relationship you may have with them. Always keep in mind that time is of no substance, you can meet someone today that has a more positive impact on your life than someone you’ve known for your entire life or years on end. Border buddies are those that support you financially, emotionally, or morally. They help spread your message and offer encouraging words along the way. In the realm of social media they are the reposters, those that use your hashtags, and direct people to your platform. These people no matter how small their deed may seem are essential in our growth and are not to be overlooked. Every now and then we meet a border buster. These are the people that unknowingly or sometimes knowingly propel you to a new level. Sometimes these people come in the form of familiar faces and other times they can be complete strangers. Long ago I met someone who would eventually blossom into a border buddy and ultimately turned into a border buster. As I began to get more into my dream and my dream turned tangible, I was looking for something more. I spoke with an associate turned friend about my desire to just leave home for a few weeks and focus on myself while seeking purpose in my work. I had a plan in mind that I had already run by my closest confidant and by the tone in their response I knew they weren’t feeling my idea. It just so happened that I received an email to check in on my overall well being and see what was going on with my business. This email came from my friend Shanelle whom I refer to as Nellz; I began to tell her of my plan, update her on my progress, and voice shifts in my vision. I opened her response and the first thing I read was come to Japan. I knew she was serious and as I began to reflect on all the things that had gotten me to where I am and the manner in which she came into my life, I didn’t think twice about my decision to go. See along with the love I possess for The Secret I have a special place in my heart for a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. So coupled with all my experiences, faith, and intuition I knew this was for me. My apprehension lied in venturing into the unknown as well as the concerns from my family but my soul was at peace. My time in Japan was one of the most memorable times I’ve experienced in my life thus far. I spent two weeks relearning myself, seeing the world, and coming into new realizations in regards to my dream. I was even able to meet up with a childhood friend that had been stationed in Korea. Some of these experiences I’ve already written about and I have so many more to cover. From the time when my vision was just a landing page and an outline Nellz has been on the sidelines encouraging and supporting me behind the scenes with her efforts never going unnoticed. Last year she shifted from a friend and border buddy to a full on border buster. She’s not a constant presence in my life but one that comes in swiftly like a cool breeze on a spring day and sometimes like a mighty force willing me past my difficult times. I can only hope I am as supportive of her goals and dreams as she is when it comes to mine. Had it not been for this individual actively pursing something more in her own life and being a champion in her own right, I’m unsure if I would be in the space I am now. I am just thankful I had the means and courage to venture into something so far outside of my comfort zone. According to The Dream Giver, struggles with your comfort zone can reveal your true desire to live your dream and hitting the edge of your comfort zone repeatedly means you are in fact a dreamer on the move. Don’t allow fear to tell you that just because you have apprehension, which is natural, is a determining factor that you should not pursue your hearts desires. In fact those uneasy moments, the moments when you know you are stepping into a new realm are sure indicators that you are headed in the right direction. This is not to be confused with tugs from your intuition however because both can be uncomfortable feelings but this is where awareness and being aligned comes into play. Dreams and purpose are not about us, we just happen to be the vessel chosen for the assignment at hand. When determining your dream usually it’s something that is innately inside you, something you were born with, a gift. Our dreams are not about us and if you find yourself or others in a space where this is true it is necessary to step back and reevaluate your situation. Yes, success can be obtained by anyone because the definition of success varies from one individual to the next but purpose is a universal concept that cannot be cheated or masked for anything other than what it is. You can make a lot of money living your dreams and purpose just as you can live a modest life doing either. The true reward is how your life is shaped en route to your idea of success as well as how you shape the lives of others. It is never too late to realize a dream and just because you haven’t realized your dream does not mean it has gone dormant. If you are actively pursuing your dreams you know the difficulties that arise so it should be second nature to assist others in their journey. I believe there’s a special level of karma for those who know the struggle yet fail to assist others along the way. Then there are those who may not have a desire to pursue their dreams, don’t let these people deter you from the vision you have so bravely set out to manifest. Even if they aren’t actively deterring you their lack of support speaks volumes that no eye, ear, or heart can overlook. Again, this is for the dreamers, the purposeful, and the servants. This isn’t for those seeking fame or popularity because those are fleeting things. So for the dreamers, seekers, and doers; identify those you hold in a close regard in your life and assess the position they hold. Observe those that you may not be as close with but come into your life from time to time and assess those individuals as well. You may find that you need to do some rearranging and shifting of personnel and that’s perfectly fine. Again, it may be uncomfortable but if you’re not being faced with moments of being uncomfortable then you aren’t progressing. Celebrate those that support you and don’t allow your dream to be deterred by those that don’t. If you wish to read The Dream Giver you can find it online or at any bookstore. If you are unable to purchase the book at this time feel free to email us at theLAMEway@gmail.com and we will be more than happy to send you a copy of our notes.