I ran into someone who said to me, “life’s hard when you’re aware. I hate knowing things.” It didn’t happen in that instant but just now as I’m writing this and although I can see where that person is coming from I do yet don’t agree. Often times when we grow we forget that others may be elsewhere on their path. I’m very “good” at not lingering in situations when I feel the energy is off. I don’t do it out of  spite, I do it knowing that if paths are meant to cross they will. I say all of that to say I wonder how many people actually know better but aren’t doing better. How many people are slowly dying inside because their outward does not fit the desires they have inside and all the energy they possess must be used to smile through the pain. Being aware is half the battle because our true state of being always has been and always will be innately a part of who we are. The difference in most people and what sets those who soar apart from those who seem to be stuck in a proverbial maze is simply the fact that we CHOOSE to ignore the nagging of our hearts.

There are so many factors that contribute to not only who we are as people but who we will become as life takes it’s natural order of progression. Most of us won’t make it outside of the small areas in which we were raised. One of the perks of the internet and social media is that it provides people with a wider view of things outside of their immediate environment. The downside of this is merely the things that we choose to take in and process as truths thus dictating what we deem as important.

One of the main concepts I have always found myself not only talking about but struggling with is balance. Knowing that balance is essential is one thing but maintaining balance is a never-ending task. I have personally found that in order for me to find balance of any sort I must first undergo a series of extremes. I’m the type of individual who welcomes the openness of life and I naturally exist from this place of freedom that has allowed me to taste many of life’s spoils and fruits along the way. If we don’t get engulfed in darkness how would we truly know how it feels to be entranced by the magnificence of pure light? If we have not tasted excess how would we know what its like to be depleted?

I made the mistake recently thinking that once you get to a particular place and you live in a certain space that some things you just don’t have to worry about. You seemingly grow into new problems and face new obstacles to overcome. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s those unexpected times that we must be prepared for, the things we have left far in past that will rear their ugly heads just to see if you are who you say you are and have your feet planted firmly on the ground.

“Life’s hard when you’re aware. I hate knowing things.” It’s not life that’s hard when we are aware, it’s the pains we feel and the situations that we allow ourselves to participate in that makes life so uncomfortable. I’ve put myself in situations and began relationships for all the wrong reasons, we all have. At the time we may be doing the best we can but I honestly don’t think that’s true. We always know when we aren’t genuinely doing something because it’s what our heart wants or what our souls may need. When you go into things being self servant and for the wrong reasons it’s only a matter of time before discourse takes place. Some people will ride out the discourse for the same reasons that they got into the situations in the first place, the Ego.

Life’s not hard when you’re aware life is hard when you choose to not be true to yourself. Life is hard when you create an image that always must be upheld even when you need a break from it. That’s the beauty of truth. Truth needs no effort and requires nothing but the natural state of existing. I can see how it’s hard to be yourself in the world we live in today. It’s natural to want to be accepted and wanted by others but if acknowledgment and acceptance is what you live for you have an exhausting life ahead of you. Being yourself can get uncomfortable and people can sometimes mistake that for life being hard but really it’s just a nudge to keep you moving along the way. What’s hard is spending money, time, and efforts being what others want you to be or trying to fit in.

We have to start desiring the intangibles and truly take our eyes off of the distractions. We have to reprogram our minds and align with our hearts. It’s almost like I keep saying this over and over and I keep reading others pushing the same message but the truth is we are all fucked. We all have vices, pasts, and fears. None of us are above being tested or feeling inadequate and the sooner we accept ourselves and our personal truths the more likely we are to accept others. The sooner we stop being worried about other people’s finances and personal lives, the quicker we can enhance our lives.

Once you’ve seen the light you’ll never be able to ignore it. Once you know your truth, you’ll never be able to not live it. Our agonies have nothing to do with other people and them conforming to a role we think they should have in our lives. Our agonies are in direct correlation to the fact that we don’t and won’t stand up for who we are and what we believe in. In turn allowing all the things that feed our ego and insecurities to control who we see ourselves as people. We are all full of shit individuals trying to find our way and we will naturally tip the scales in efforts to find our balance.

I encourage everyone to go to the extremes; starve yourself and overindulge. See the difference and feel the difference. Let your mind wander but always follow your heart. Our minds are built for survival and retention so as we are journeying we often times analyze and over analyze. One thing I have always found to be consistent however is the heart. The heart knows what we want out of life, we just sometimes allow our minds to generate a picture of what that’s supposed to LOOK like. If we can get past the look of things and focus on the true feel of things awareness is a beautiful thing. You can and will appreciate knowing because you’ll form the courage to operate from that space.

It can be very difficult uprooting yourself from everything you’ve worked hard to become and the image you strategically put out into the world. But what’s worse is living a life that you think appeals to others and the places you can end up trying to cover up the pains of being unfulfilled and internally broken. Once you know you have an obligation to fulfill, one that comes with resistance and struggle. The thing is I would rather have discourse with the outside world any day before I have to carry overwhelming turmoil inside me wherever I go. All of truths are different but they all coincide, once you identify your truth life as you know it will change and that’s ok. Be brave. Live your truth, people may not understand it but they will respect it.

It’s not about being “aware” because some people can’t even grasp that concept. It’s about just making choices that speak to your inner voice daily. It’s about feeding the soul and starving the ego.

About The Author